Questions about sex and health

Reader questions about sex, relationships, and health answered by experts: case analyses, anatomy, potency, contraception.

I sometimes get cold sores on my lips, and my friend gets them in the genital area. Is this dangerous at all, and is there any way to get rid of it for good?

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Answer

Herpes simplex virus comes in two types: type 1 usually causes "cold sores" on the lips, type 2 causes genital herpes, and in most people infection is asymptomatic or mild. It is currently impossible to get rid of herpes completely: antiviral drugs (acyclovir, famciclovir, valacyclovir) reduce the severity and frequency of symptoms but do not eliminate the virus, and no vaccine against it exists yet. Women are more susceptible to both viruses, and people with type 2 herpes are at least three ti...

I constantly listen to my friend's problems, but when I feel bad, she doesn't support me. How can I tell her about this without ruining the relationship?

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Answer

Support is a two-way street, and if you constantly listen to other people's problems but don't receive support yourself, it's worth saying so directly. You can use 'I-statements': talk about your feelings rather than accuse, and don't soften it — a phrase like 'I'm sorry, but I'm tired and can't listen to you right now' is normal. For example, honestly acknowledge: 'I appreciate your trust, but I think you should talk to someone else too — I can't be your only support.' If a friend takes offens...

I am 16 years old, and I want to learn about contraception, but I am afraid to go to the doctor and embarrassed to ask. How do I even start this conversation so it's not awkward?

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Answer

We understand: embarrassment is common, and researchers have found that teenagers lack information about sexual health and contraception even before becoming sexually active. Doctors also do not always know how to bring up this topic with a teenager, and they say they need more detailed information about the patient to make the visit personalized. To make it easier, you can make a list of questions in advance and bring a friend for support. If you want, look for materials that help you prepare ...

I have frequent urges to urinate and nighttime trips, and recently I've developed problems with erection. Are they related or just a coincidence?

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Answer

There is indeed a connection: in a study of 305 men with bladder complaints, 59% also had erectile dysfunction. Men with ED more often had type 2 diabetes, neuropathy, and metabolic syndrome—conditions that damage the blood vessels and nerves needed for both erection and bladder function. However, the study does not prove that one causes the other, but only shows that these problems often occur together. If you have noticed such symptoms, you should discuss both the bladder and erection with a ...

I always imagined that group sex parties are chaotic and reckless. Is it really as strict and well-planned as they say?

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Answer

According to a study by Canadian researchers who spoke with 20 participants of such parties, your idea of chaos is not entirely accurate. Long before the event begins, many 'boring' tasks take place: screening guests, discussing rules, preparation — all of this is conscious care for oneself and others. Inside, rituals like 'consent circles' or colored bracelets operate, where one color means 'ready for contact,' another means 'just watch,' and a third means 'do not approach.' They also think ab...

My face is fairly symmetrical, but sexually I don't feel more active than others. And if my face is asymmetrical, does that mean I'll have fewer partners and weaker desire? I want to understand how much appearance actually affects this.

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Answer

Based on the material, initially women with more symmetrical faces were indeed found to have slightly more partners per year and slightly more permissive attitudes, but the correlations were very weak. As soon as scientists took place of residence into account, these effects disappeared completely — that is, facial asymmetry by itself decides nothing. Everything that looked like a connection was explained by environment and life circumstances, not by facial features. So there's no point in look...

After childbirth there was a tear and stitches. Sex became not the same as before — it hurts and I'm embarrassed about my body. Is this because of the scar? When will everything become as before?

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Answer

According to new data, the scar or stitch itself does not determine whether you will feel good in bed: in women with tears and without trauma, sexual satisfaction differed insignificantly. But pain during sex and dissatisfaction with one's body turned out to be strong and independent factors — the more pronounced they are, the lower the quality of sexual life, and this worked regardless of the presence of a tear. At the same time, resuming sex after severe trauma is indeed more difficult: after...

I had ureaplasma found in my test, but I have no symptoms. Is it dangerous at all and does it need to be treated?

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Answer

Ureaplasma is a bacterium that lives in the urogenital tract and in many sexually active people is part of the normal microflora, not a disease. If you have no symptoms such as pelvic pain, unusual discharge, or burning during urination, detecting ureaplasma does not always mean that treatment is needed — doctors usually treat only when there are signs of inflammation or before certain procedures. Regarding infertility: there is no clear proven link yet, research is ongoing, so there is no need...

I was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, but there's no improvement. The doctor is at a loss and changes the drug. Could it be Mycoplasma hominis? How is it even detected and is it treated completely?

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Answer

Yes, that's possible: Mycoplasma hominis is a bacterium without a rigid cell wall, so common antibiotics (penicillins and their relatives) don't work against it, and the doctor prescribes other drugs. It can only be detected with a special molecular test or PCR; it is not included in standard screening. Symptoms are vague—unusual discharge or urination problems, but most people have none at all. The infection is completely curable if you take the full course of antibiotics and abstain from sex ...